I didn’t expect to feel more nervous and more pressure two months into working with Russell at Clickfunnels, but I do.

I didn’t expect to feel less confident, less able, and less sure.

I expected to feel like “I got this.”

So imagine my surprise when the opposite happened. 

The good news is I think I’ve figured out why.

First, I think the first month of working at CF HQ I was just in shock. Shock that the people and company I’d admired from afar was now a part of my work family. That didn’t really sink in right away, probably because I was too busy trying to rearrange my life and business to make room for the opportunity.

Secondly, I think Russell is a punk. He has an attractive character – we all know this. He’s the reluctant hero. The “nobody” special who happened to fall in love with marketing and sales. HA!

He’s not nobody special. That’s a load of crap. 

He is an artist.

That attractive character is so dialed in, it even got me.

As his voice and writer, it’s my job to try and write blog posts and articles and books as him.

I’m also doing some of those things as me too…which is easier because well…I get to be me.

But when I have to be him, I feel like I’m swimming in a sweatshirt WAY too big.

I’ll write something and hand it off. It’s good, I know this.

But then I hang around on the Google doc waiting for him to review it, and I watch…

I watch as he types a sentence…and erases it.

Types another sentence…erases it again.

Back and forth, back and forth, until I see a story unfolding on the document…and of course it’s hooked me right in.

It’s SO FREAKING good.

Russell voxes me, “Are you watching me?”

I’m sorta embarrassed to admit I am…but I am.

I’m trying to watch an artist paint so I can paint like him.

And I’m in awe.

And I’m little like “Oh shit. What if I can’t do this?”

I am working with one of the best marketing minds in the world and I feel wildly unqualified. Which is dumb.

He wouldn’t have hired me if I wasn’t ready.

But it’s still been a massively uncomfortable two months trying to adjust to the “little fish in a big pond” syndrome.

People ask me all the time why I took a job when I made $1.3 million dollars in my business last year.

It does seem odd if you think my goal of being an entrepreneur was to sit on the beach and drink.

But I LOVE to be a part of something big. Of something meaningful. I love community and culture.

I love to work.

Sometimes I’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true.

I have a lot of financial catch up to play too. I have hundreds of thousands of dollars I need saved for four college educations. I have virtually nothing saved for retirement. It’s cliché to say, but I am going to work hard and long until I reach my goal of financial independence.

Because my business and my work at Clickfunnels all centers around the same topics, the same niche, and the same work…I can do it. I can swing it because the work I do in each arena helps the other and vice versa.

And when I reach financial independence, I’ll still work because I LOVE what I do. I won’t be working as hard, but I’ll still always work.

Right now, the hustle is pretty intense.

It’s been a struggle to really adjust my life to reflect my desire to work. I have to own up to it…to the kids, my husband, and the help I’ve hired. It’s uncomfortable to ask for so much after spending a decade being the sacrificial mom.

It’s hard to say, “Can you all support me and help me do this?” but I’m asking. Finally, I’m asking.

Anyway, back to this artist I work for.

I think Russell is more an artist than most people realize.

His gifts with words and stories and selling and thinking like a customer is just breathtaking to watch.

They say it’s good for you not to be the smartest person in the room all the time.

I think I’ve got that in the bag.

As for what I’ve done in the last month…

• I’ve had the chance to write blog posts, both as Russell and as me.
• I’ve built six modules of Funnel Builder Secrets curriculum.
• I’ve designed and recorded 21 videos for the new Ignite Your Funnel series coming out.
• I’ve written 10 emails for that sequence as well.
• I’ve done a smattering of random projects – for 2 Comma club, for a bunch of new projects, odds and ends, etc.
• I’ve started recording regular podcasts with Dave and Funnelhacker Radio.
• I’ve worked with James and the funnelbuilding team to help relaunch the book funnels.
• I’ve reworked and rewrote a skyscraper article draft again and again until it’s ready.
• I’ve continued to write snippets for the Marketing Secrets book coming up next year.
• I started writing some articles for mainstream publications – one of which was published on Entrepreneur.
• I’ve gotten to know the team and the people and the flow of how the company works – something that is not always easy to do when you’re remote.

The “pinch me” gift in all of this is that the work I do there, makes me smarter and better…for everyone I serve, both at Clickfunnels and in my own business.