I am doing something that I have never done before, which is record a podcast live on Facebook, and then I’m going to go ahead and send it to my person to get live. And the reason I’m doing a live podcast, which I never normally do, is because somebody asked me a question in the Create Your Laptop Life Facebook group today…
It was just one of those questions that I was like, ‘ooh, I have something to say about this.’ And then it sort of sparked a conversation, and they were like “Do a podcast! Do a podcast right now.” So I’m like, “Alright, I’ll do a podcast right now.” So that’s what I’m going to do. And hold on one second as I put this on my thing so I can see all the comments.
So this is the question they asked me, and I love this question because it is literally the thing that I struggle with, or I have struggled with for a long time, and I continue to struggle with. So the question was this, she says, “For those of you who are the primary breadwinners for your family, and you’re doing digital marketing fulltime, so you’re in a service based model, at what point do you feel secure financially? What is required for that to happen?”
And we’ve already gotten great responses, there were a couple really good responses. Sarah Morrison responded saying that she wanted to have a budget, a plan, savings. A couple of people said, “Hey, when my business can run without me, then I will feel secure.” A couple of people said they wanted a team in place, someone wanted a certain number, like 6 figures. Some people are like, “You know what, I want to know my family will be okay if something happened to me.’ Some people are talking about things like health insurance, and stuff like that.
So it’s a great question, and whether you’re in digital marketing or not, the question is, at what point do you feel secure? So here’s what I’m going to say, as somebody who is incredibly driven by security, in fact, in the personality ideogram, I’m a 6, and a 6 is primary, whole motivation in life is security. So I understand this feeling very well.
My response, which was a really interesting one because of the way I responded, I think it definitely triggered more conversation because I said, security in your business has really nothing to do with the money in the bank. I’m not saying that it doesn’t help, because of course it does. But Sue is the one who asked it, and she asked the question because what she wants is to sleep well at night. She wants to be able to sleep well at night and to feel peace of mind. Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul, whatever it is. She wants peace, and she wants that sense of calm that comes with, ‘I’m going to be okay.’ right.
So let me tell you a story because I for the longest time thought that I would be okay, if I hit a certain revenue. First when I was starting out, I followed the Dave Ramsey model. I needed a thousand dollars in emergency, then I needed 3 months savings. And once I had that, then I would feel secure. The funny thing was, hey guys, it didn’t work.
Then I was like, ‘well, once I make $25,000 in a month, then I’ll feel secure.” So it was a total moving target. I see here Marissa, “Moving target.” It was a moving target. Then I was like, okay, once I hit $100,000 in one month. The first time I do that, my insecurity is going to go away and I’m finally going to believe that I’m going to be okay. Then it was, you guys, it’s stupid. Then it was like, when I hit a million dollars in sales, then I’ll feel secure. If I have $100,000 saved in the bank. It was a constant moving target.
So here’s a funny thing that happened. And this has to do with when I got hired from Clickufnnels. It was really interesting because when Russell offered me the position, and when he offered me partnership in his company, I had no trouble betting on him. I was like, oh yeah, I’ll bet on him. I think that’s a great bet. And I had no trouble being like, oh. But what I didn’t realize was that Russell Brunson was betting on me. Because he was saying, “I see you. I see what you’re capable of. I see what you can perform, and I want you on my team.”
And then I had other people betting on me. I had other people, I had one person come to me and say, “Hey I want to make you partner.” Another person, “Hey I want….” And I started to see people betting on me and I was like, the problem is that I’m not secure enough to bet on myself. That’s the crux of this issue. Because I believe that I can’t figure it out, or that no matter how much money I have, or how much money, I’m going to fail or I’m going to not succeed, or I’m going to let people down, or I’m not going to be able to figure it out.
How many of you guys find it so much easier to sell other people than it is to sell yourself? If I looked at you and you’re a digital marketer, and I said, “Hey, the next client that you get on a sales call with, I want you to sell me.” Would you sell me? You’d sell me just fine right. You’d be like, ‘Julie can handle it. She’s amazing.” And you would sell me hard. But you can’t do it to yourself. At the end of the day the lack of security that you feel in your business is because you haven’t figured out how to bet on yourself.
And it’s not just betting on how much money you can make, but it’s betting on how you can get over things when it doesn’t work. Or how you can find new clients even when your lead flow dries up, or what you can do after something shitty happens, like you know, your ad account goes down, or you get a merchant account. You haven’t figured out how to bet on yourself. The minute that you can say, you know I’m going to burn my ships, and I’m going to put all my cards on myself, is the moment at which you believe, truly believe that you’ll be okay, no matter what. And once you believe that you’ll be okay no matter what, that peace of mind comes rushing in like a flood, regardless of what your bank account says.
So that is like, that is my biggest feedback. So then I got responses. A couple of people were like, “Well come on, the money does provide security.” Of course it does. But what you don’t see behind the scenes and what I have seen in my own business and in big businesses, even like Clickfunnels, is alright, let’s say you’re insecure about like being the primary breadwinner. Let’s say all the sudden a million dollars is in your account all the sudden. Are you worried about your savings account? No. Now you’re worried about losing the money. Now you’re worried about paying your payroll. Now you’re worried about taxes. Now you’re worried about people asking you for money and making bad investments. Now you’re looking for all of, now you’ve got 8 thousand more worries than you had before.
So that is part of the problem. Hold on one second, I’m just reading everyone’s comments. So you’re mainly worried about losing money. Like, I’ve got to pay for this person and that person. I’ve got a staff now of coaches, and I’ve got team members and people who are relying on me. The worries don’t go away, the insecurity doesn’t go away, and that’s where I’m saying, this is not about money, this is about peace of mind.
So yeah, okay, I don’t worry now about how I’m going to pay the bills. But I worry about 17,500 other things that I never had to worry about when I was only making 10,000 a month. So that is sort of my response to it. So I just want to look here at some of the comments.
It’s crazy I’ve been in two PHD programs, and I still allow imposter syndrome to control me at times.” It’s a very, very solid question to ask yourself if you can bet on other people. I see here Julia said, something about betting on coaches. You keep betting on other coaches. But what you really should do if you’re going to hire a coach, is hire a coach that can teach you how to bet on yourself. That’s the whole point of a coach, is to help you stand on your own two feet, and help you believe that you will be okay, no matter what, because that’s really the game.
And When I started to see all of these people betting on me, putting out money and opportunity and time to bet on me and I was like, this is the problem. I don’t see my own scrappy-ness, I don’t see it. And I keep looking for someone outside of me to tell me it’s going to be okay, to tell me I’m going to be okay. And no matter how much money climbed in my bank account, I couldn’t erase that gnawing feeling, what if I frig it all up. I lose it all, I make bad investments, it all goes to hell.
So I think that it’s the same exact argument people say, it’s why there’s so many comparisons between business and image, when people say, “If you hate yourself before you lose weight, you’re not going to love yourself once you lose weight.” And everybody’s who’s trying to lose weight swears by the almighty heavens that once they’re a size two they’re going to love themselves, and it’s a lie. It’s the biggest lie ever. It’s, I don’t know, I think it’s a battle we all face. But peace of mind is an inside job. Security is an inside job. This is what I am learning.
So for those of you who are the primary breadwinners, I think there are things you can do to create security, for sure. Planning, budgeting, saving, emergency savings, business savings, all of that stuff, you can do all of that, but don’t be fooled in thinking that a number on the checkbook balance is going to create the security that you crave, because that ultimately going to be mindset.
So I know, some of you guys have seen me twice today because I was on the Create Your Laptop Life Q&A hour, and now I’m here answering this, but at the end of the day this was one of those things that I just, I couldn’t leave my desk before 5:00 without answering this question because it’s something I feel really passionate about.
I actually did an entire webinar like 3 years ago called 20k months won’t make you worry about money any less. And I did that webinar, and I had the same argument that I have now. And it’s just been different levels of learning. And I do have more peace of mind now. Of course I’ve got money in the bank, but I also am starting to believe that I’m actually capable of the things that everybody else had no trouble betting on me for. And then that feeling is, I’ll figure this out. It’ll be okay, no matter what it’ll be okay. And that peace of mind ultimately creates the ability to be more creative, more innovative, more thinking outside the box, which is the very thing that’s going to bring value to your customers, to your business and ultimately to your life.
So anyway, thanks for hanging out with me guys, thanks for asking the question Sue, thank you Bambi for, she was the one who kicked back and sort sparked this whole conversation today. So I hope you guys have a great day. Bye.