Today is the first day of the last year in my 30’s, and I did not expect yesterday’s birthday to be as emotional as it was.
Even without the big spiritual aha! moment that came whipping into my house yesterday morning (more on that another time), just the sheer number of birthday wishes and kind words on social media was enough to crumble the toughest of criers. I spent a large part of the day in tears. I felt so much gratitude, I felt unworthy of it all, I felt overwhelmed, I felt like I hoped I am “good enough” could continue to serve the people who follow me in a way that makes their world bigger and brighter.
Many of the well wishes were from people who entered my world a LONG time ago. Before all my huge wins or accolades, they were there. Which means for you… the people watching you RIGHT now, even if you think your following is small or your voice isn’t heard ringing loudly across social media, you’re making a difference right now. Somewhere, with someone. And honestly? When you become the kind of person that cares about people when it’s not glitzy or glamorous, you will immediately stand out because so many people turn over customers and followers like it’s nothing.
So what lessons did this last trip around the sun teach me?
1. Everything will eventually come back up and around, even if you don’t want it to. It’s SO hard to be honest, to do the right thing when it’s the hard thing, and no matter how much you try to stuff your red flags or your gut check intuition, eventually… it will find you. I am a classic second guesser. I have an instinct, and then I figure out how to make my instinct wrong so I don’t have to listen to it. 100% of the time it gets me in trouble, and I’m not cured yet. But I’m working on it.
2. The Six Hats are an amazing tool for your business. I discovered this in March of 2019, right before I kicked off and led the first ClickFunnels marketing retreat. I talked about it on my podcast, and how the six hats help teams brainstorm effectively.
3. Go to Disney World more. In the midst of some seriously stressful life crisis stuff, when people would ask me what I wanted out of life, the only thing I could come up with is… “I want to spend more time at Disney with my kids.” So I set that intention and fulfilled it. I visited Disney in April, July, September, and December. Since the start of 2020, I’ve been Disney two times with another trip coming up in about 6 weeks. You’ll never get what you really want if you don’t say it out loud and believe it’s possible.
4. Betting on yourself will continue to be the hardest thing you do, even though it’s EXACTLY what you need to be doing. At least if you’re the type of person who struggles with Imposter Syndrome or the disease of “not good enough”. I expected with more success it would get easier, but it doesn’t. The pressure just changes flavor. Learning how to bet on yourself starts right now, today. It starts when you don’t have a track record or testimonials or proof that you can do it. That’s when you learn to work that bet on yourself muscle. When I decided to do another affiliate contest with Pete Vargas’s Stage to Scale, when Cathy challenged us to hit our first $100k month in June with Webinar Gorgeous, when we had to push another $100k sale for Black Friday to try and hit the 2 Comma Club before this FHL, every time was just as terrifying as the first time.
5. Get ready because success brings 3D decisions. These are moments in life… decisions that have no wrong path, no moral compass, they are not driven by need, they are not driven by money, and every possible choice or path carries with it potential opportunity cost, unintended consequences, and soft and hard benefits and risks. I had more 3D decisions this year than I’ve ever had before… the most public one being my decision to step down as ClickFunnels partner to go back to my own business. There is so much about the life of someone successful that’s just total bullsh*t. There’s no destination. There’s no relief from pain or hard decisions. They just change shape.
6. It’s okay to change your mind. This is a hard one for me. The older I get, the more influence I have, the more careful I am about my decisions because I see how many people it affects. But then you get yourself in a mindset loop of feeling like you can’t change your mind because what will people think, what kind of fallout will there be, etc. I’ve tried to be really honest about this real fact of life and business because I’m trying to prove that you can change your mind. You are allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to make bad judgments. You will be okay.
7. Everything thinks their situation is unique… it’s not. That’s not meant to be a blow. It’s meant to be a relief. I’m now clocking well past the “10,000 hours to becoming an expert” with business coaching and marketing strategy. And it’s not with a small group of people. It’s with hundreds of people, plus thousands of students. As an example, if you went to the doctor for some strange disease and he said, “Oh well… thousands of people have this, here’s what you do…” you’d be relieved. Imagine if he said, “Oh man. This is some horribly rare disorder.” You’d be freaking out. Your problems are not unique. They are regular. They are normal. They are the things I’ve probably addressed hundreds of times in the last 5 years of coaching. That means that EVERYTHING you’re currently dealing with… is solvable.
It’s like you’re on Level 2 of Super Mario and you haven’t beat the level yet, but there are people who are on Level 5 and can tell you exactly how to beat the boss. I’ve got some HUMDINGER problems in my life right now. Not easy, not small, not fun. But I console myself with this truth, and go find the people who’ve beaten the higher level bosses rather than try to figure it out myself.
Like I said above, today is the first day of the last year in my 30’s… it’s hard to not see the symbolism that this next trip around the sun will be a big one. I’ve got my “teach me” glasses on because I want to leave this decade fully equipped to handle the next one to come.
And…I have a funny feeling I’m coming to a boss level and I’d rather advance than play the same game over and over.